Proverbs 31 In A Different Light

As a woman, I live by one of the most popular chapters in the Bible, Proverbs 31, which is about being a virtuous woman. Now I know that in the Bible it actually says "wife" instead of "woman," but considering I am not married I changed it to woman. I feel like this chapter doesn't always apply to wives but to Godly women in general.

Recently God has really been placing that chapter on my heart. Tonight in a moment when I was about to break and almost felt useless, I started to read Proverbs 31. This time it was different. Different in the way that I understood it. I read this chapter as if it was describing me and who I am (or should be). Here is what I came up with:

I...

Am trustworthy

Am to do good not evil

Am hard working

Am strong

Am compassionate

Am fearless

Have honor and strength

Speak wisdom

Speak kindly

Am blessed

Will fear the Lord

Will praise Him in everything I do.

-Proverbs 31-

After I read all of these I realized that this is what it takes to be a Woman of God. It is not only going to church or reading the Bible or worshiping Him, but it is also in the way I live my life. It is the qualities of a Godly woman that I need to strive for.

Once I read all of these qualities again to myself I realized that I am a daughter of Christ and that I am so loved by Him. Even when I feel like no one else does or I don't belong, I know that He loves me because I read this and realize my worth. Not my worth in this world but my worth in Christ.

The Climb

We all have heard the song "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus. I never realized how true that song is to life.

Life is a climb.

We start at the bottom and work our way to the top just to go back down again. The road to the top isn't always easy. We fall down, or trip, or even take a wrong turn, but no matter what has happened we keep pushing forward to the goal ahead of us or just the top of the mountain. My journey so far through nursing school hasn't always been easy, in fact it has been so hard sometimes, but one thing I have realized is that those struggles and trials just made me stronger. They made me more motivated to continue on this journey to the top of the mountain. No matter what happens to tear us down, make us fall or even keep us from reaching the top of the mountain, we need to keep pushing forward. Sometimes the climb takes us places that we never thought we would be, but are now.

Sometimes we need to work through the rough spots and keep going. We need to keep strong and never give up. We can't push the rough spots aside because it won't help us get to where we are going. It will just keep us from the top of the mountain.

So keep going, don't give up, keep strong, and rely on God.

Yay!! 8 weeks are over!!

Well I made it.... The 8 weeks of Foundations is over and there are some bittersweet emotions about it. I am happy because I am home and can take a little break but at the same time I am going to miss clinicals.

Looking back on the 8 weeks I have grown so much... not literally but in the way of study skills, confidence and maturity. At the beginning of it all I was not happy about having to go back and take this class over but now, I am so glad. I not only came out of the class with an A, but I experienced so many amazing things that will help me in the future. I was able to build and repair some relationships. I met some awesome nurses who I learned so much from.

I can't wait til next year (well more like 2 weeks haha) to see what I am going to experience, the things I am going to learn and the people I will meet. Only God knows what is going to happen and I am so excited to see what He shares with me during that time. I will keep updating this when I have time! Fall 2010 here I come!!

God's Plans

Once again... it has been too long!!

The past week has been crazy and the next 2 weeks of class are going to be pretty much CRAZIER! This opportunity that I was given to come back and take this class has been awesome! I have one more week of clinicals and I will be sad to not have anymore for about 4 weeks.

Yesterday was an incredible day and special day. We got to the hospital and got on to our floor just in time for a patient to go into code. For all you non-medical people out there, a code is usually when someone goes unconscious and CPR and whatever else is needed. My teacher gave me the opportunity to watch it all go on. I watched as probably 20 doctors, nurses, techs, respiratory therapist, and hematologist swarmed the room. I watched as they did CPR and tried to bring the patient back. As I watched, I just prayed. My teacher came back and was talking to me a little. She told me that she felt that God was telling her that I needed to see that. She told me that she felt that God was telling her that I would work in ICU or ER. She later told me that she was feeling ER. This was not the first time that I had been told that I would work in ER. Family and close medical profession friends have told me that too. In a way it is a little nerve wrecking only because the thought of me being in ER and having people's lives on the line and it is up to me to save them is pretty big.

God knows what he is doing. It has taken coming back to take a class over again to realize that, to quote the song, God has the world in his hands. He has our lives in his hands. He has our future in his hands. He knows what he is doing, we just need to trust in him. I wonder sometimes what would have happened if I was not given the opportunity to come back or to retake this class. I would not have been able to help the people I did, or meet the people I did. I would not have been able to shadow some of the best nurses I have met here. I would not have been able to see and experience so many things. I just thank God that he opened this door up for me. I truly believe the quote by Alexander Graham Bell,

"When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us."

We just need to ask God to open a new door when another one closes because you never know what will happen....

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."

Matthew 7:7

God's Will?

It has been a little while since I posted something... sorry! I have been so busy plus I wasn't sure what to say but something came up which made me think.

Many times we pray when we need something or are in a sticky situation. Majority of the time when that happens we ask for God's will to be done. But do we really mean that?

I know that I have ask for God's will to be done in some situations in my life. Sometimes the result that I get from praying that is not always what I want but realize that it might have been God's will. There are many times that we say we want to do God's will but then when God's will happens, we aren't happy cause it isn't how we want it. If we really mean it when we say "God's will," then we need to learn to be happy with whatever happens.

No regrets...

This post is probably going to be 2 rolled into 1...

There is a quote that I love... "Never ever regret something that once made you smile".

It has taken me 2 years to stop regretting certain things and certain relationships. Sometimes we need to look at the positives instead of the negatives or the results. The past few days I have been thinking about a particular relationship that ended badly. There are so many reasons for me to regret that relationship but the past few days I have been thinking about the positives and realized that I need to think about that. I realized how much fun I really had with that person. It wasn't just the actual relationship with that person that I missed, but it was also the friendship. I truly felt that I could talk to them about anything and he would just listen. He always made me laugh and smile. I have tried to rekindle that relationship and so far it has been a fail. I'm going to keep trying because I realized something else (this is where my other post comes in).

Tonight sitting down I was reading through some past notes and it hit me. I was wrong and jumping to conclusions. I feel so bad. I really would like to make things right but I have tried everything I know right now. I feel like I have a knot in my stomach because all the comments took me back to when we were together and what awesome times we had. I just wish I could rewind time and change things. I know that I can't do that, but I do know that I can do everything NOW to make things right. I am trying to do that and if I am given the opportunity I would love to talk things out and fix things. I just want to make everything the way it was before or at least try to.

Just remember to not regret anything.... especially if it once made you happy or smile.

Forgiveness...

Forgiveness....

it is probably one of the hardest things to do especially when someone hurts you really bad. Recently God has just put on my heart forgiveness. In the past I have been hurt really really bad by a few people and I have held a grudge towards them. One thing that I have learned is that no matter what they have done, I need to forgive them. Think about it... if God didn't forgive us for every time we sinned or did something wrong... we would have a problem. In Matthew 18:21-22, it says: "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."

We all need to learn how to forgive and move on with our lives. Time is too precious to hold grudges towards people who have done wrong to you. We need to forgive them and move one... let them know we forgive them for doing whatever and just treat them like nothing happened. There is a time and point when we need to just put the past in the past and look towards the future.

There is a song that has really hit me hard every time i have heard it... it is called "The Call" but Matt Kennon... listen to it... it will make you think twice about things. You never know what will happen when you make that call, send that email, send that text message.

I did that today. I sent a message to someone and apologized for things and wanted to start over. If it changes things I don't know but at least I feel good about trying and know that I have done everything I can to make things right.

Make the call, send the text, send the message or email... you never know what the 3 words " I forgive you" will do.

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future. ~Paul Boese

Being Fearless...

We hear the word "fearless" a lot... whether it be the Taylor Swift song or even the Max Lucado book, but it makes me wonder if we really know what it means. According to the Webster's dictionary fearless means: "without fear; bold or brave."

To me fearless isn't really any of those... yeah I think that being fearless is not having fear but I think it goes deeper than that. Fearless is going into something not knowing what will happen. It is completely trusting God to do something amazing. One of my favorite verses is Proverbs 3:5-6 which says" Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understandings. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path."

Yes I know... it is very hard to just fully and completely trusting God with everything. There are so many times that we would much rather do everything ourselves but a lot of times that actually doesn't turn out the way we thought it would and usually end up falling to our knees and asking God to help us. If only we had enough faith in God to trust Him with our life and everything in it. To me fearless is doing exactly that... having no fear that God will help me out... having no fear that He will continue to show me His plan for my life and not just what I want.

We need to go into our lives almost blind to what we want. We need to trust in God that He will take us on the journey He wants. We need to be fearless and not be afraid of what God has planned for our life!

First Post...

I have never blogged before but decided to because it seems like good therapy for stress and stuff. I don't know if anyone will read this, I just thought it would be a good idea to "journal" about my journey through the last years of nursing school.

About 2 months ago, I found out that I was about 2 points off from passing one of my basic nursing classes. I was frustrated because I always put so much time into studying but it didn't seem to be paying off. When it came to the final I had to make at least a 75 on it to pass the class. I ended up studying 20.5 hours for it and when the result came back, I thought someone had hit me with a huge brick. I got a 73 on the final and missed the passing grade but 1.5 points. I was discouraged at that point and went back to my room and cried. I talked to my mom and dad because I was confused.

I knew that God had called me to nursing and I couldn't understand why God would let me go through all of this for nothing. My mom told me that I needed to trust God because He knew what He was doing. I blew that off, then realized that He obviously does know what He is doing.

Sure enough, I was given the opportunity to take the course over again THIS summer. If I had not been given this opportunity, I would have been held back an entire year, which would have been terrible. Therefore I came back to school and am retaking the class. So far this has been such a blessing because my teacher is using me as a leader. I have thanked God everyday for giving me the opportunity to come back and take this class. I have a feeling something amazing is going to happen this summer.

I will try to keep blogging about my 8 week journey through this class and what God is showing me through all of it.